The House.

I am learning more and more everyday what makes a house a home. Because its definitally not the walls, furniture and paint colouring. We moved dad's stuff into the new house today. I woke up early this morning and drove the twenty minute drive to 3510 Burton Rd in the cute town of "Jinglepot". Not going to lie, when i heard that named i almost peed myself with laughter. Who in there right mind calls a town Jinglepot? Well than again... who would call a town Stouffville (my original town).

Im looking forward to returning home to Stouffville on Saturday but knowing that my days were seriously numbered to like two months made it kinda depressing. Although the more time i spend at this house the more I like it. Its just missing a few vital things.

My outstanding boyfriend who would make it completely home. With his hugs and kisses and that smile which makes me feel comfertable even in a room full of strangers. My best friend Meredith. Holy crap she would help so much. She can make me laugh when the whole world seems to be trying to make me cry. Shes got to be the most amazing girl i've ever met in my life. And then all my other friggin fantastic friends that make me feel like the world is perfect... even when i know deep inside its not.

But even though I am spending so much time thinking about it I need to continue to remind myself to be thankful to God. This house is truly a blessing and if my God is present here than I guess thats all that should really matter. I pray that He will be ever present here. That hopefully... one day... He will take this ordinary house... and turn it into a home.

Moving To And From.

A combination of exhaustion, lowerback pain, and heavy eye's are currently coursing through my body right now. I've spent the whole day along with Dad and Tessa packing up the apartment in BC and preparing it for the move tomorrow to the new house.

Not going to lie, im actually pretty excited to see what it is going to look like..but im also a little scared. I mean, for something to even come as remotely close to the beauty of the lake house... well it would take a miracle. Not saying that I dont believe that God can perform this miraculous act... but would he?

I sprayed the kitchen down with Spray Nine today and my hands are seriously taking the biggest effect. The smell... probably killed about the majority of the brain cells in my head. If that stuff doesnt kill germs i dont think anything will.

Dad got lonely tonite i guess because i am starting to realize that sooner or later i am going to have to join Him and Tessa in my bed. Not in a creepy molestation kind of way but my dad is pretty weird and had this odd fetish for cuddling. Which is fine I guess, because i like to cuddle. But i generally prefer the arms of my boyfriend... my dad isnt exactly what I had in mind.

I had a strange conversation with Andrew tonite on the phone. I dont know exactly whats happening between us. Things feel so different and i catch myself wondering if this is the way a loving relationship with your boyfriend is suppose to feel. I miss him. Terribly. But how come whenever we speak it feels like neither of us care. He says he does, heck so do I! But saying something and feeling meaning behind the currently meaningless words is another.

Oh well, apperintally this is yet another situation I am going to have to hand over to God again. Although He himself seems distant to me aswell. Maybe he is. But my matress and pillow are calling my name yet again. Hopefully tonite will be a better sleep than the last.

Your Song

Alright, so I wrote this song for my boyfriend Andrew on Valentines Day 2009. We had gotten in an argument for the week prior and Valentines Day was the day we got together. Soooooo to show Him how much I loved him I wrote Him this...

I've been waiting all my life
For someone like you
Someone who would
Get me through these days

Since the first day I saw you
I knew right away
You we're in my heart babe
And its there you will stay

Our love is stronger
Than a raging river
and we can withstand
The test of time

I love you
I Swear its true
I can't wait to spend my life with you
But i will wait as long as it takes
Waiting patiently
In the Fathers arms we'll be
Because I love you

I dont care what people say
I dont care what they think
They say we're to young to know
What loves all about

But if they would just take the time
To look inside our eyes
Than they would realize
That this is love

Our love is stronger
Than a raging river
and we can withstand
The test of time

I love you
I Swear its true
I can't wait to spend my life with you
But i will wait as long as it takes
Waiting patiently
In the Fathers arms we'll be
Because I love you

And our love it is stronger
Than this raging river
and babe we will withstand
This test of time

I love you
I Swear its true
I can't wait to spend my life with you
But i will wait as long as it takes
Waiting patientlyIn the Fathers arms we'll be
Because I love you

Oh yes i do
Thats why i'm waiting here
Because I love you

<3 I love you baby.

Starting over.

I am starting to come to the conclusion that life has become alot more complicated then princes, princess's, castles, and the occational dragon. Because currently my life feels as if I have dragons being thrown at me from all directions.

I knew when I was younger that life wasnt going to be all sunshine and flowers but i mean, whats up with this!? After spenting my whole life at an amazing home in Ontario and now to suddenly have my life tossed into the completely opposite direction.. well its certainly not what I had in mind.

Ok i'm going to re-cap a little bit. My name is Rachel Lee MacMurchy. I was born in 1992 in the Markham Stouffville Hospital and was sent home on the 25th of June. I have lived at home on a beautiful lake since that date and 16 years later I couldnt have ever wanted to be anywhere else. Two weeks before Christmas '09 my parents sat me down aswell as my 3 siblings [ (Nathan, Rebecca -> both older and Tessa -> younger) we are all a year apart].. anyways, we were told that after growing up here, we were going to be moving across the country. Now if any of you reading this are movers out there then you might possibly be rolling your eyes, expecially if you do it often like i know some do. But i have never moved to a new place my entire life. Never had to experience making new friends, learning a new environment, starting over. I had these same friends for year, had a boyfriend who'd i'd loved for 3 and well.. yeah. Now British Columbia was my new destination and i was scared out of my mind.

I wont forget that day though. I couldnt stop crying. I remember going out onto the front driveway and falling into the snow trying not to throw up. Rebecca's friend picked her and I up and dropped me off at my best friend Merediths. I have never cried more in my entire life. While stepping onto her snowy driveway in my pajama's (snot probably running down my face and tears soaking my shirt) I looked into there direction. Meredith stood infront of the garage on the left side and Andrew (my boyfriend) on the right side. They weren't talking to eachother just shuffeling there nervously. I assume they were probably wondering what was wrong after my frantic call that i needed to see them. I stepped out of the car, fell into the snow and they ran to my side. Andrew helped me up and frantically cried then shouted out "f***ing British Columbia!" Meredith started crying, Andrew tried to act strong and I was simply just a mess. I fell asleep holding hands with Meredith that night, hoping, wishing, praying with my whole heart that when i woke up it would all have been a dream.

That dream never came. Five months later im currently in BC moving some of my stuff and looking at this new province which will be the foundation of my new house. I move into that house on Wednesday but not to stay. In a weeks time im returning home to Toronto where i will finish the year off at my school, pack up my life and and start my grade 12 year at my new school, at my new house... Its not been an easy couple of my months, actually they have actually been the most difficult ones that i have ever had to experiance. Throughout this time my faith has been shaken, my heart has been breaking but my life is still remaining. I know that I will continue to move on in my life trust God that he knows whats best and that he will do with my life what he chooses.

Until then my situation, feelings and thoughts will be posted on my on here hoping and praying that it might help other people who might have situations somewhat like mine will be. Until i write again...